Another one?!

New blog btw. This one got pretty emo. D:

idk wtf happened.

http://sheetshimi.blogspot.com/

wah wah wah

ARUGH.

I feel like I can't complain about this enough.

I hate writing essays. FUCK.
I HATE THEM SO MUCH.
Why?

...
I regret not taking high school seriously I regret it i regret it i regret it. Then again, there is are a number of things wrong with our secondary school system. Especially within the english department.

First of all: the english curriculum. It's slow. It's redundant. It's elementary school level. Upon entering high school I expected a much higher level of English education than I was taught. Instead of focusing on how to write a decent essay, increasing reading comprehension, building vocabulary, public speaking, or creative writing, I was taught and re-taught the difference between a verb and a noun. Sure we read some books. No, let me correct myself, we were spoon fed some pocket novels. They may have been important historically, cognitavely etc. but, seriously, Lord of the Flies should not be part of the grade 10 curriculum. It should be grade 8. I went into high school and came out of it writing the same way I wrote in grade 7. You could blame me for my unwillingness to learn and say "oh but, you didn't try, that's just your own fault". Sorry if I fall asleep in class due to the incredible amount of retardedness and lack of enthusiasm for learning in your standard english classroom. What do you expect from a teenager? "YAY INCOMPREHENSIBLE SHAKESPEAR!"?

Also, fuck Shakespear. Learn to speak english you ditzy silly bearded man.

That's another thing, sure Shakespear ONCE is GOOD ENOUGH. Seriously 3 times over the course of 4 years?! What the fuck is so special about that guy anyway? He was different he wrote a lot of plays and short stories and poems and what have you. Historically he changed the face of literature by thinking outside the box and showing expressing the world objectively. Yeah he was different. But you know who else was different?! EDGAR ALLAN POE. THE DALAI lAMA. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.?! Did they not also read and write? Did they not also change history and the face of literature? Why do we not study them (you racist motherfuckers) as well? Why don't we study Canadian literature? Or wartime literature? Why don't we do creative writing? Why don't we do public speaking? Why don't we analyze different types of writing? Wouldn't that help one to write an essay?

I noticed as well, the reduncancy of the system. Every single year I find that my english teachers take a couple days or so to teach the proper "structure" for an essay. Intro, minimum 3 body paragraphs, conclusion. But did anyone teach me what a THESIS was?! NO. Did anyone teach me what a good intro looks like?! What a good conclusion should sound like without it having it sound like it's repeating itself? How about body paragraphs? FOOTNOTES? ENDNOTES? PROPER CITATION? IF YOU'RE GOING TO SPOON FEED KIDS THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL MIGHT AS WELL DO A GOOD JOB OF IT. Don't just leave important things out to FUCK THEM OVER later. Seriously, if a high school kid doesn't know the basic structure for an essay after grade 8, that's just their loss & learning experience. There's too much time wasted on telling kids that an essay consists of a minimum of 5 paragraphs.

Also, (This may just be the teacher pretaining to Gladstone secondary but) is writing considered an art? Yes? Is not the best way to improve one's art through CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIZM? I must handed in over 30 essays during my entire stay at high school, I don't recall even ONE with decent constructive critizism. Maybe recieved a couple back with spelling and/or grammatical errors corrected, at most. But NEVER has a teacher asked to talk to me about a shitty essay and say "Hey kid, that was a pretty shitty essay, I noticed you handed in your rough draft and brainstorming process as well. Would you like to explain to me what you were thinking and maybe we could work on improving this piece of work?" NEVER. You can't just expect every15 year old to recive a fail grade on an essay and go up to the teacher to ask for help or advice. TEACHERS need to take intitive. They are older, they are wiser, they were 15 once and know the mentality of a 15 year old. THEY'RE TEACHERS FOR CHRISSAKE. EVERYONE KNOWS THEY GET PAID LIKE SHIT. and "It's not like we became teachers for the pay"... THEN DO YOUR JOB PROPERLY. MAYBE YOU DESRVE TO GET SUCH A SHITTY SALARY. /rage.

As a now college student and an only child if only I knew the crappy quality of the English high school curriculum I would have forced myself into english mini school, or tried for AP english as fast as I could. The jump from high school style english to the expectation of even college style english feels overwhelming. Sure some students abosrb english easily and understand structure and excel at it, but it's like how some other students absorb math easily. But at least with math, its all just clear cutting and following the rules. though there are barely any rules for english I still believe that all this loosey-goosey bunch of bullshit nonsense can bring out so much more potential in an individual if more effort and common sense was applied to teaching it.

More in-class essays! D<

College

Woo.

So, the past couple weeks have been prettttyyy crazy.

I started at Langara College on Tuesday which I paid tuition for and books for all by myself. Watching my bank account drain from 3k+ to 1k, regardless of the circumstances, in the course of a week is a heartbreaker. A real heartbreaker. Can't afford uni... ;n; It doesn't help that I have this irrational phobia of student loans. They're like those bear traps just waiting for you to step on them so they can take your leg and some how your arm too.

Growing up with a single parent tends to make you very cautious and wary of loaning money...

My schedule isn't exactly ideal either.

COMON. FIVE HOUR BREAK.

What the fuck am I going to do for 5 hours? It takes me an hour to get home. I need a car. Well on Janurary 10th 2010 I can take the road test for my Class 7N during the ICE and SNOW and OLYMPIC TRAFFIC. Joy.

Other than that, I'm quite secretly enjoying my classes. Environmental Geography is a little more lax than I expected it to be, but other than that, everything is great.

Right now, I'd have to say Prinicpals of Macro Economics 1221 is my favorite class... and this is based upon my first class which I had today. My prof, Lanny Zrill, is one captivating guy. Funny, engaging, spoke from personal experience. If only teachers in high school were like Lanny lol. Superb teacher. I was suprised at how personal the lecture seemed even though he was teaching in one of langara's bigger lecture halls. The class was maybe about... 50-80 people? Give or take some.

There's something about being lectured and simply reading the textbook. I suppose anyone, with enough motivation to, could just crack open a textbook and learn the material themselves but what fun would that be now? Lol. Anyway yeah, it looks like a challenge. Sititng in that hall surrounded by all these other older more mature and financially aware adults makes me feel out of place. But then again, that's my job to put in the effort to belong. College is not a place to be self-concious about looks it's a place of learning...

Right?

Though really, there's this vibe that goes around; it is just a beauty contest between adults. Lol.

Economics seems very applicable to everyday life even though it is Macro Econ. A lot of my friends are taking Micro Econ first. They say "it just made more sense to me." Why didn't I think of that? Then again, I don't think it matters. Maybe I prefer to get the bigger picture before the details. It's like art right? Rough before ink. Hah.

The year has barely begun and I'm already super worried about my midterms and finals. I believe all of my classes require me to write at least 2 essays of 8 pages or more each with approximately 1000 to 1500 words. Honestly, those numbers would be intimidating to anyone who scored a fail 3 out of 5 on the LET. Also, it doesn't help that I'm not taking english this semester. I haven't seriously tried to write a decent essay since grade 8. In fact, I think my best written essay throughout my entire career in high school was done in grade 8. I remember reading it in grade 11 and going, "wow shit, I wrote this?". Everyone knows I have this disability when it comes to communicating my thoughts. CLREARLY.

Let's get philosophical here; I'll rant about how my environment and heritage contributed to why I cannot communicate and have such a huge tolerance for bull-fucking-shit (Euphemism: "indifference") which ultimately leads me to religiously believe fully in determinism. More soft determinism than hard. I still believe in choices, but choices made because of pure desire not entirely influence.


Allow me to enlighten you on asian mothers.

• They do not take "no" for an answer. As far as an asian mother is concerned this word coming from their child (also known as thier sub-ordinate) does not exist in their vocabulary.
  
• Freedom is speech is non-existant within earshot range. Infact, it is illegal and punishable by parental command and law. Which is also known as, "I will beat you with a dangerous object and make absolutly sure it hurts and that you cry and beg for forgivness" punishment.
• Disrespect of any kind will not be tolerated. This includes being honest and saying "yes mom, I think you do look fat in that dress." Again, this is illegal and punishable.
• Their word is law. Their word is sacred.
  
• Don't let them take out the psychotic emotional bitch. Trust me, after 40 years of pms, they're experts at getting what they want via backdoor "emotional" methods. They know all your buttons, all your strings. They know how you work. Asian mothers pull and push at them shamelessly.
• They talk. You shut up, you agree to everything they say. That is your job in life, your life goal. Make them rich and happy at all costs.

In essence, (I'm generalizing here) an asian family is like a hardcore micro-fascist regime. Everything disasterous destined to happen in the history of politics, you can find in studying in an asian family. Something about it being an invasion of privacy? What? Huh?

In a fascist regime, your opinion doesn't matter, your don't get a say. To the government, you're just a number, a soldier of the state; and I quote in the humble words Tyler Durden, "Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. " With that being said, one might as well kill one's sense of morality and ideologies while one is still ahead. Yes?

Okay. So my mother isn't that hardcore, but the same conclusion to this shakey train-of-thought still applies.

Perhaps I have just come off as having a cynical and seemingly hopeless view on life, but no matter how you think of it, you are what your environment has influenced upon you. Adaptation. Determinism. Fascism. Asian mothers. Isn't it great?

I didn't want to play the blame game, but for the sake of wanting to practice a bit of writing in general... I wrote this. Anyway, I thought it'd help reinforce what I'm learning about in Philosophy: Knowledge and Reality. Ahaha. Win.


I really should start forming opinions on things. Ah, the dilemmas of being an adolescent. Who are you? Who am I? Who? Huh? Who...Whatwherewhenwhyhow?... -Angst-




ANYWAY.

Essays. Gotta learn how to write them. But first, got to find out where the writing centre is in my school...

/Blargh.

(Y)

Hey, everything's alright.

Hells yeah

Request for Spidey the Man.

IMU Mokiee ;n;.

LOLOLOLOL. I just got this.

Langara College


Notice - Courses Dropped for Non-payment of Fees

Dear Christine ---

Langara ID: ---

Please note: You have been dropped from all of your Fall Semester 2009 courses because you did not pay all of your fees owing by the published August 18, 2009 fee payment deadline. The Registration Fee Payment and Refund Policy is available at www.langara.bc.ca/about-langara/policies/.

If you want to attempt to reregister into courses, you may do so from August 24, 2009 to September 14, 2009 inclusive (see the Registration Access Schedule at http://www.langara.bc.ca/registration/reg-guide/reg-timeline.html ). Refer to the Fall Semester 2009 Registration Guide for information about fee payment for courses added as of August 24th.

This is an automated message. Do not reply.

I guess it just sucks that I might not be going with people I was looking forward to chillen' with. :((((

a-a-aaart.. sch-ss-schoollll....?
-outstretches hand meekly-

...

Fucked up people do fucked up shit and it turns into a never ending cycle of fuckedupness.
For once, I feel scared shitless about my future.
/depressingmiserablelife.

And I was so excited to blog about Kirill too.
Another time.

Poo! lol!

I have a day off from work. Shit. I'm attempting to clean the chaos in this room. It's quite depressing because everything seems to remind me of how I'm not on vacation right now.Why does it feel like all the worst shit happens to me? Anyway.

I hate hypocrites. I fucking hate them with every molecule of my being. Especially the ones that think they're all righteous and shit. Say one thing, do another. Essentially, I'm ranting about my mother here. She gets so fucking worked up every time I mention sleeping over at someone's house. In my ENTIRE 18 years of my life, I've only slept over at someone's house ONCE. Yeah sure, buy me a plane ticket to Japan, knowing full well that I'll be sharing a room with friends and who knows who the fuck else for TWO WEEKS fucking OVERSEAS but don't let me sleepover for ONE NIGHT at a friend's house. I'm EIGHTEEN. I demand my independence. Fucking B.C. and their fucking legal 19 years of age.

I hate a lot of things about my life. I'm not just whining like a stupid spoiled bitch here. I can defend my arguments, but it's tiring always saying the same shit over again and not getting a response out of anyone. It's like trying to beat a dead horse with a bat to life. People just don't give a shit right? Nobody gives a shit unless you're family right? TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE ONE RIGHT?

Talking to people online has become a science or branch of algebra to me. It seems like the best way to casually write sentences online is to overload them with simileys and LOL's, Lol!'s, lol!'s, lawl!'s, Rofl!'s, lmao!!'s, omg's, OMG!'s, and, !!!. It makes you seem a shit ton more friendly. After all, the internet is just one big friendly contest. If you write just a normal sentance with a capital letter at the beginning and a period at the end, you're too serious. Gtfo.

I hate when people say to me "You shouldn't be working so much" or "Your youth should be about discovering who you are and having fun" or "You should just do what you like, don't worry about money. It comes and it goes." I fucking hate it because that's not me and it's true what they say. That makes me a hypocrite doesn't it? No wonder I get suicidal.

Is it my fault that my biggest concern is money?
Is it my fault I'd rather not say anything?
Is it my fault I'm bitter?

Blegh.

Project 72

[Brief Summary of Project 72]
72 is a project I've decided to start involving one drawing per week, hopefully, for one whole year. The theme of the drawing shall randomly be decided by the Random Word Plus* generator!

Also, I don't think I've ever mentioned this before on here (it's common courtesy/sense) but, please do not steal any of my work (claiming it as your own) or else I will take you off my friends list (dA, FB, wherever else) and may wreak all havoc and chaos upon your PC, as I am the last boss of the internet. Thank you~ ♥

WORD OF THE WEEK - FLASHOkay so I can draw.
I like drawing. It's... just the... lack of theme/shit to draw. I can draw anything for anyone, except for myself. Dunno if I'll update 72 here every week, but for those interested, I'll regularly (or will try to) update my FB album.

*<http://watchout4snakes.com/creativitytools/RandomWord/RandomWordPlus.aspx>